What did the pirate order for breakfast? Pancakes.

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What's white, wet, and loved by women? A polar bear cub.

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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What did Luigi say to Mario? You look like a fat Mexican

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why did the child fail to make his bed? because he has downs syndrome and he is incapable of participating in everyday activities.

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A couple of years back a went to chile for a day, I was then trapped underground for 70 days...

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Two hunters walk in to the forest. They have a great time ending the lives of defenceless creatures. They go to their respective homes, eat a light dinner, and fall asleep in their beds.

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What do you call a bunch of white people walking down a cliff? Avalanche

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Y did the first squarl fall out of the tree? It died Y did the 2nd squarl fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Y did the 3rd squarl fall out of the tree? Peer presure. Why did bobby fall off his bike? He got hit by 3 squarls Y did bobby die? He got run over by a truck:)

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Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

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Q: Knock, Knock A: To get to the other side.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

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what did the carrot say to the rabbit? stop eating me you son of a B*****

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How do you make a snake blink? You can't

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Jokes are dumb. Stories are better. Did you ever hear the story of the blind man who walked into the fish market and said, "Evenin' ladies!"?

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This is a bad anti-joke. Just kidding, it's a good one.

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Honk if you're Amish!

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what do u call an elephant in a car? nothing elephants cant fit in cars

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I'm 23, just like most people my age.

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69

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roses are red, violets are blue, my son is gay, f**k my life...

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Rock a by baby, In a tree top When the wind blows The cradle will rock, When the bough breaks The cradle will fall And down will come baby Dying on impact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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