Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

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How much does a polar bear weigh? about 900 pounds

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What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

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What did the black man do when he saw a bike sitting on the sidewalk? He took it into the shop paid for it and rode off feeling good about how hes helping the environment.

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Q: How do you win the tour defrance if you have one nut? A: Hard work and dedication.

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Q: Wanna hear a joke? A: the WNBA

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what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

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How do you get 100 Africans in a phone box? Throw a can of beans in there.

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What hurts more than a bullet? A bullet penetrating your skin, muscle and embedding itself in your body

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Whats worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? 2 Holocausts.

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Question: So, what do you get if you put a live dog, a dead cat, some sugarcubes, and your sisters panties (HORMONES OKAY? EVERYBODY KNOWS HORMONES EQUALS SPICE! Or something anyways...) In a blender until its all red and squishy? The hell I know, but put some Redbull in it, and its fucking delicious!

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-knock knock -i'm not at home, go away!

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Do you know what's annoying? Steve

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Wanna see me count to ten? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

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Suicide is never the answer. Unless you ask me what I contemplated after I found out that my family was killed in a horrific traffic accident.

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What do you call a terrorist on 9/11? A terrorist.

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Not gonna tell you, that was one weird story, I feel like super high right now.

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Knock knock who's there? Boo. Boo who? Uh, Boo Johnson, your next door neighbor. Forget it I'll come another day.

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What do you call a black man riding a bicycle? A good citizen who cares about the environment.

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What's the difference between a book. A tree's leaves hit the trash cans

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Erron who the hell are you? How many people are you going to use before you finish whatever the fuck is on your agenda?

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What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

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Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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