Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do a purple grape and an elephant have in common? They are both purple, except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a leopard and a jaguar ? The rabbit flies faster, while the pigeon can breathe underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she cant use it, she is fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: How do you stop a hijacked plane? A: The plane can't be hijacked because the pilots cabin is not accessable until the plane lands.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the boy drop his icecream?? he got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -8

You dropped something.... Yo lip

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse than one dead guy? 2 dead guys

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you get when John pulls your toe off the waterfall and takes three from an caramel? -6 to the power of golf.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:Wats worse then cutting ur lawn A: diarea on a sunday morning

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two People go To Africa They have a lovely time they come home then go to Miami Florida after Florida they decide to go to germany sadly there was a plane crash and the two men fell into a pit of acid.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? Being eaten by a giant octopus. What's worse than being eaten by a giant octopus? 3 Bee Stings!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had completed its task on the aforementioned other side and was returning back to the coop for a feeding now that the sun had set.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken. How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower. What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor? An erection. What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender? Hold on. I'll tell you in a second. What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan. -S

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man sees another man sitting on a bench with a pickle in his ear. He asks the man "Why do you have a pickle in your ear?" The other man replies "What? I couldn't hear you because I have a pickle in my ear."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 283,000,322,249,390

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what's the difference between a blue fridge falling off a cliff and a yellow one? the yellow one isn't falling of a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What does a black man do in the bathroom? He Dookies on bobby

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a mulslim wlaks past a bomb shop on his way to join the international peace club

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your mama so stupid She has a 3rd grade education

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops