There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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Women. One of the genders a human can be.

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the mean terrorist said "i am going to kill your mother" that mother is now dead

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How many spots does a giraffe have? Depends on the giraffe.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -None, they will pay for somebody else to do it

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An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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roses are red violets are blue does this smell like chloroform

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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why did sarah have to do overtime at work? because i set her house on fire

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like ass, And no one loves you!

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What did the Nazi solider receive on his birthday? A bayonet up his ass.

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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What did Hellen Keller say when she drove up to the stop sign? Nothing, she doesn't drive.

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Rose are red, violets are blue, niggas is soft, just like you

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A black man is in line for a club. The bouncer says: This is a white party only. The black man says: Damn, I wasnt aware I had to wear white clothing. He then left the line and told himself to check the promotional page on facebook more often.

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I have 20 dollars and 27 cents. How much money do I have? 20.28$ I found a penny.

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What did the Shark attack victim say just before she died from her injuries? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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why didn't the boy get any presents for his birthday? because when his dad went to the store to get him some presents he ended up buying presents for himself like a huge douchebag.... and the apple doesn't fall from the tree so his son is a douchebag too and doesn't deserve presents.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? Someone shot it.

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there are 2 men standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is called Peter

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Two hunters walk in to the forest. They have a great time ending the lives of defenceless creatures. They go to their respective homes, eat a light dinner, and fall asleep in their beds.

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Heeeheeeerrrrrrrrrrr

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A dyslexic man gets asked what 1+1 is, he replies with a wopping 11. Grats <3

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What did Washington say to California? WC

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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