What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

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What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? a terrorist dropped a bomb on him which turned into a transformer, raped him and then burried him inside of his refridgerator

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Why couldn't the T-Rex give anyone a high five? Cuz he's dead.

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What do you call a woman when you're inside her? Mom.

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do you know what was a good idea? not last night

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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person 1: i have a good knock knock joke person 2: ok what is it? person 1: say knock knock! person 2: knock knock person 1: trollollollollollollo

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Your dads so fat he needs to go on a diet

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office, naked but wrapped in Saran Wrap. The Doctor takes one look at him and says, "I can clearly see your nuts."

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parent's bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't. He said nothing, and the incident troubled him deeply for many years.

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In Soviet Russia, test takes you... to a privileged University with an appropriate transcript.

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Whats worst than being stuck in a cage with one blonde? Being stuck in a cage with four blondes.

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Q: What happened when the rich man got married? A:His wife stole everything he had and left him a cold and broken man.

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What happens if you come across an elephant in the jungle?. You wipe it up What happens if an elephants comes across you in the jungle? Swim

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Why did the chicken cross the road. It's head was cut off and it didn't know where it was

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dont be afraid of lard squeezing cause really its just me teasing

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question: do zombies eat brains answer: actually zombies don't exist, so they don't eat anything

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Ryan

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What do you get if you cross a canine and a sheep? A Sheepdog. What do you get if you cross a cat and a dog? You fucking stupid? It cant be done!

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What is worse-losing your phone or failing school? Apartheid

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Roses are Dead, Voilets are, too Now shut up and say nothing Because we're watching you

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Jerry Sandusky and two other men are on a cruise ship, when it suddenly starts to sink. The first man says, "save the children!" The second man says, "screw the children!" Jerry Sandusky drowned.

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If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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