What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

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What do you get when you mix red and yellow together? rellow

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How many blondes does it take to play a game of hide and seek? One ... ;)

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What do you call a black man on a rope swing? Usually whatever his first name is, but if he goes by a nickname you should use that

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Do you want to hear a joke? No.

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What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? a terrorist dropped a bomb on him which turned into a transformer, raped him and then burried him inside of his refridgerator

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Why couldn't the T-Rex give anyone a high five? Cuz he's dead.

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office, naked but wrapped in Saran Wrap. The Doctor takes one look at him and says, "I can clearly see your nuts."

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What do you call a woman when you're inside her? Mom.

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What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

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person 1: i have a good knock knock joke person 2: ok what is it? person 1: say knock knock! person 2: knock knock person 1: trollollollollollollo

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Whats worst than being stuck in a cage with one blonde? Being stuck in a cage with four blondes.

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parent's bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't. He said nothing, and the incident troubled him deeply for many years.

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What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

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In Soviet Russia, test takes you... to a privileged University with an appropriate transcript.

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do you know what was a good idea? not last night

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Why did the girl cry? She got hit by a bus.

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Your dads so fat he needs to go on a diet

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A fat man orders a pizza. Then after eating it, he gets a eart attack due to his high cholesterol and lack of exercise

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What did the paper say to the pen? Nothing, they are inanimate objects!

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An anti-joke

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Girlfriend: Hey, you know whats the cutest thing ever? COMIC SANS Stabs girlfriend in the eyes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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