My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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Why did the boy kill his father? Because he was molesting him.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

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Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

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Why wouldnt NASA send a blackman into space without a space suit? Because space is a vacuum there is no air no atmosphere the tempurature is almost zero kelvin so if you ever go out int space please dont take off your helmet out there because you would freeze to death almost instantaniously.

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Womens rights

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

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Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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what did the kid say when pee-wee was about to rape him ...huh just make it quick

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

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What's that smell? Your feces droping in the toilet

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

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Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

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Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

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A hayride would be fun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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