Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

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roses are red, violets are blue when ever l flush the toilet i think of you

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whats black. an african american person

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Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

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Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

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What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

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A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

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Why was the little boy sad? He tried to dry off his puppy in the oven.

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

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-rick:hey wut happens wen i pull this pin -jerry:rick no!!!!! rick then starts to cry as he remembers the tragic accident that caused his friends death,which rick caused

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

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What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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So there's this mexican with a big sombrero riding a donkey, it was a sunny day and he didn't feel like walking.

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Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

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Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME!!!

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

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Why did the boy cry? because his tear-ducts were agitated by an emotional reaction due to jokes that were ironically hilarious because of how bland and usual the punchlines were

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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