3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because potatos are invading russia

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Your mom is so ugly, that her job prospects are affected negatively, and your family suffers as a consequence.

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Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

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why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer.

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Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

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Why was the mexican ugly? -UR MOM!

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knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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What's sad about four black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? Jerome never wanted it to end like this. James, his best friend, was drunk... Again. That was just the way he was. He got wasted, did something stupid, apologized, and then did it again. But this time, there would be no next time. They were supposed to be going to their graduation party, but instead, James fell asleep at the wheel. The cliff was rapidly approaching, and the doors were locked. All Jerome could do now was pray. Also, the Cadillac costed a lot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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why did the banana go to the doctor? answer: he wasnt peeling well lollolololloololololololololololololooolololololololol i just fell of my dinosaur

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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