How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

Whats the differnce betwwen a Wheelbarrow and a sack of dead babies The wheelbarrow is not in my garage

A young girl walks into a dark alley. She emerges a few minutes later unharmed and goes about her day.

What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

why couldnt hellen keller drive? cuz she was blind

What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

How did the cat die? I just it nine times

Steve Jobs didn't die. He went to go set up iCLOUD.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can.

What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

Whats he best type of terroist? A dead one.

So there is a white guy and a jewish guy walking, they find a penny on the ground who takes it? The white guy because he is in debt.

What's that smell? Your feces droping in the toilet

What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods They both have beards... EXCEPT FOR TIGER WOODS.

Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

What’s brown, sticky and smells like poo? Shit!!

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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