How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? most likely one unless there is physical disability that makes this person incapable of this action

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He didn't believe in santa.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. He didn't, this joke gets old really fast

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life changes and moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medical prescription as directed by her doctor.

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A Mexican, Asian, and a black guy are on a bridge, the Mexican says there is too much rice and throws some off the bridge, the Asian says there are too many burritos and throw some off the bridge, the Black says there are too many candles in his house and throws his car off the bridge. Everyone was happy and left besides the Black because he threw his car off.

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Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

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A stripper walks into a bar, she proceeds to cry because she's an alcoholic and a stripper. Meanwhile, her 3 children sit at home hungry. She then goes home, and grabs her gun and shoots her children, then shoots herself. Bucket.

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There was a blond girl and a brunette girl. The brunette had a pink shirt that had " Abercrombie & Fitch" on it. The blond looks at the brunette and asks, where did you get your shirt?

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Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

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A man is sitting on a park bench crying. A blonde walks by and asks him why he's sad. The man proceeds to explain he just lost his children in a custody battle with his ex wife.

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Roses are red Violets are blue this doesn't rhyme i like trains.

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What did the Asian say to the Mexican working at the friutstand? Hi, I'm Asian!

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A fat guy, well over 300 lbs, goes to KFC and orders a big bucket of chicken. He gets his bucket of chicken and goes to sit down on a table to eat his chicken. A man walks up to him and asks him "are you going to share any of that chicken?" The man says "no."

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? It doesn't really matter but I wouldn't actually call anything because they have very sensitive hearing and will probably panic and, being blind, might collide with a tree.

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What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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Knock Know Who's there? Not your dog, he just got run over.

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A Jew, an atheist, and an Asian man walk into a bar. They all have a drink and then go home to their families

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A. THERE'S SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE B. WHAT?!? *PUNCH* A. IT WAS PAINNNNNNNNN

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What do you call a black man that works in a church A priest

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What can you use a broken watch for? A compass.

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Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

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What happened when the high school student had intercourse with his history teacher? orgasmic noises.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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