How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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A guy walks in to a bar and says to the bartender "I'm fed up with all these 'guy walks into a bar' jokes on anti-joke. The bartender says "I have no idea what you're talking about".

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A cat starts grooming itself How many sprinkles does it take to cover the moon Cabinet because whales live in water

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A couple is playing chess. The man then chokes his wife to death, throws her body in a woodchopper, and eats her like cereal- Frost

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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Together we can get theist likes on anti-jokes :)

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color

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Roses are red, but there are also pink, white and yellow varieties Violets aren't blue, they're violet, hence the name I've got OCD And my poetry skills are also lacking.

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Why cant t-rexes clap their hands? They no longer exist

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what does the muslim guy say in a very busy metro station? jaallalalalalalalalla BAM

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A white man, a black man, and a Mexican board a plane. The white man watches the on-flight film. The black man watches the on-flight film. The Mexican also watches the on-flight film. At the end of a long flight, they leave the plane and go do whatever it is they planned to do at their destination.

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What did the captcha tell me to write? Tepsyto Dora

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Nero here, nice to see you guys again, now you know why my babbling has been excessive (and pissed at the comments below, but now that the pills are working I am calm) Anyway, yeah point Zero is my "world" now, and its been thriving under my values (something I feared would just work on paper, and if so such beliefs would all been for nothing) As for hero... Well insert something like "I am no hero, I just do what is right" or something cheesy, or... Well, thats what I do really... Since nobody uses this site Ill extend the time you "former followers" can chat, as I got some nice stuff to share, and might just share a bit before I pass away (nah, but I will sleep when tired), I got a lot to do tomorrow.

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why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder and help him down

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm What is worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding chuck norris Whats worse than finding your girlfriend has a bigger Slong than you? Getting raped with a cheese grater. Whats worse than all of these? Being black Sadly im black :( -Jordan M

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How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

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Why couldn't Matilda walk to school? Because a dog ripped her legs off.

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A blonde was very smart, and nobody made fun of her when she sometimes made small mistakes like every other person regardless of hair color.

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Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

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What is black and burns really well? charcoal.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping your biscuit in your cup of tea.

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what's the difference between eric bristow and colin baker? eric bristow is brilliant at darts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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