What's black and blue and red all over? A person who was just in a fight.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What a wonderfuuuul wooorld: Would this not be a wonderful world if we instead of killing innocent children, just gRaped them hard and painfully in every damn hole and let them go home? Ad: Consider the life of the poor children, Just 0rape them hard!... For love! Awww... Moral: What moral You see any moral here? XD No Not Nerometal, I am that "leader of the Neronist... whatever" Yes, that is who I am. Real moral: "Seriously who is gonna listen to some kid who is just (severely) butthurt anyway huh? Cut their tongues off! Just do not kill them... For a wonderful world..." <3 (Not a heart lol)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down -127

Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Wumbo

thumb_up thumb_down +28

3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops