A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

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Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

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If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is created to be used by multiple people for sitting down or other forms of rest, and does not have consciousness or the complex body systems of humans and other animals.

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

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What do you get when 100 sex-crazed gays are in the same room? About a quart.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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yo momma is so ugly, she is unpleasant to look at!

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken

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What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

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How does one propagate a humorous reaction from peers and associates while not utilizing such characteristics as whit, jocularity, substance or auspicious punch lines? That's what she said.

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Jesus wept.

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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A man walks into a bar. "Excuse me sir," he asks, "may I have a beer?" "No," says the bartender.

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A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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