You know what sucks ? A vacuum.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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What's worse than a man with AIDS? The fact that this is considered a joke.

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There was once a man with a penis so huge, his girlfriend liked their sexual experiences very much. A year later they got married and had kids, however the man got fired from his accounting job and it all went downhill.

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A man was walking through the woods when he comes across a little girl crying by a lake. "What is the matter little girl?" he asked. "My cat fell in the lake ... and it couldn't swim ... so my father jumped in as well and drowned too," she cried," Sad, the man sighed, pulled down his pants and said, "Well I guess today's just not your day,"

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1: Knock, knock 2: Go away!

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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A man sits down to dinner with his wife And she notifies him that their 8 year old son just died

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What happens when you try to rescue a cat from a tree? It jumps on your face, falls down, and dies.

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What did the man do after his wife died? He farted.

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That was me, I thought we where friends now... I am so sorry, I really did not send anyone nor anything, I would never do such a thing! What happened to you is terrible, I did say I knew who they where and that they are in prison, but that was a lie, I just wanted for you to think I was really confident and in control. Please Nero, let me speak to you, nothing is like you think, Jenny is my stepmother, please don't do anything.

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Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

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Zafarfanugen the third: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bob: Who cares about some dumb chicken crossing the road! I am more interested in why three generations of your family would continually use such a ridiculous name!

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the bible

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Sometimes i'm hungry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Beacause the destination he was trying to reach was across this road Notice how he tried This is because he got hit by a car but know one cares for him

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Don't worry about giving me your phone number, I'll just follow you home later.

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Knock knock. who's there? Strawberry! Strawberry who? Pickle!

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Why couldnt the boy poop? Because he was staring right in his eye.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Why? Because his house was burning down on the other side

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What's so funny about losing the game? Nothing.

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The snake had no skatebord to put johnnys refrigirator because the bettles mom had stolen the clowns purse were his parking had been for the airplane higway stop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops