An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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What is red and has no legs? Half a baby.

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i need teepee for my bunghole! jlr

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Where did the duck hide its pail? UNDER THE STAIRS!!

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what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it~? lots of things.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading the dumbass things that people come up with as an answer.

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How many lollipops does it take to shingle a dog? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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AIDS

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Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

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What's liquid, clear, and tastes like water? H20

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How do you suppress a black hole? Surround it with white holes

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing, she had no arms. Knock Knock Who’s there? Not Sarah.

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How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

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What did Mitch say to joe when he saw his fly was down? Nothing because he's a bagle

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? hes retarded.

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Your moma is so fat, that Jabba the Hutt says: "Damn!!!"

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Why did Chuck Norris start crying? Because he was in a coma

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What do you call the people that ride on the upper level of a double decker bus? Passengers.

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If there are four gay men that come into a bar and need to sit down when all you have is one stool; what do you do? Get three more stools.

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What's the best use for a van full of candy? Donating it to an orphanage.

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What is the differnece between the chair and the pot? You can't cook in the chair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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