How do you get a person to stop talking to you? Ask nicely to please be quiet and let me talk.

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Whats the sad thing about 4 black guys going over a cliff in a car? It was my car!

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Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

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Oh look, a dead guy. He must have died

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What a wonderful life!!! *gunshot*

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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Why is Joel even here? Sexperience.

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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What do you call a black man flying a plane ? - a pilot.

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how many cookies did the fat kid eat? a perfectly reasonable amount of cookies.

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How do you make a baby be quiet when it is crying? slowly choke it to death

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? An anchor

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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What does Obama, the President of the United States of America see when he closes his eyes? His eyelids

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Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Ethiopian food.

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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A panda , a cheetah, a dog, a spider, and an eagle are in Antarctica.. The eagle looks around at the other baffled animals and says " What is this????? This isn't right! I'm so confused!"

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Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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whats a great gift to share with small children? Ebola

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Whats worse than 2 babies in a trashcan. 1 baby in 2 trashcans

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A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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osama bin laden is dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops