i woke up in the middle of the night and my entire bed was wet... know what i did? i layed a towel down and went back to sleep

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Why did the boy want to sleep in the same bed as his parents? His bedroom was on fire.

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What's hard, long and screws a blond? An IQ test.

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knock knock who's there? Police oh shit

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How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

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An Asian tries to climb a staircase in a wheelchair. He finds this difficult, because he is in a wheelchair.

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What do you call a black man backfilping off a roof The dark knight

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How did the Muslim girl get pregnant? She was brutally raped on the streets of Baghdad.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

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knock knock go away!!!

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Joker: Knock knock Batman: Who's there Joker: Not your parents

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Why did the squirrel fall out of a tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of a tree? It was cruelly stapled to the first one.

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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One day a mexican guy came up with a great anti-joke about jewish guys. Upon sharing it with a canadian buddy of his, he collapsed and died from a cerebral hemorrhage where he was then hit by a bus and mauled to bits by a pack of saber-tooth tigers.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have altimers cheese on toast Srry bout the spelling. I couldn't REMEMBER!

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead

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two muffins are in an oven and one turns to the other and says,'' hey, it sure is hot in here''. and the other one says," holy crap, its a talking muffin!''

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How do chinese people call the firemen? By phone.

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Q: why are you gay A: because your physically attracted to the same sex

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there are three types of people in this world, those who can't count, and those who can. STFU, you corny loser

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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