Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color

What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket? No. A picture of a red bucket? No. A photo nailed to a red bucket, which shows a red bucket with a very realistic painting of a red bucket on it? Yes.

Why does Suzie like to wear sunglasses? Because she's blind.

A Native American walks into a casino. He wants to invest a protion of his earnings from his fortune 500 company into it because he believes it to be a profitable venture.

What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

What does a hooker eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Food.

Mario walks into a bar A yak walks into a bar An orange walks into a bar 30 men barf in a juicy yot

Why did the boy punch a little kid in the face? Because he was a bully and liked to feel superior.

Knock Knock. Who's there? A little boy who can't reach the doorbell.

Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

Why did the boy fall off the swings? He had no arms.

Why did the fireman go to the police station? He didn't go to the police station, he went to the fire station.

what meows and is fuzzy and smells like manure? a cat being being killed with a chainsaw next to a cow

what did the deaf guy say when the poor man asked how life was? the deaf guy didn't respond considering the fact that he was deaf and would never interact with a poor man.

What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 had a lot of PCP went crazy and shoved a gun down 6's throat

whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion getting raped by 2 giant scorpions

Why didn't you hit the little mexican boy riding a bike? - it's probably was not your bike and it would have been against the law if you did so it was the kind thing to do -AHW

Why was the Black man running with a T.V.? Because he had just purchased a new LCD FlatScreen from BestBuy, and a torrential downpour had just began and he didn't have a free hand to hold up his umbrella.

What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

What do you call a bird that can't fly? A dead bird

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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