Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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What is the difference between a black man dead in the middle of the road... and a deer dead in the middle of the road? One is a human and one is an animal

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Did you hear the one about the man who fell asleep on the job? He woke up.

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How many elephants can you fit in a mini? None. There are no affordable cars large enough to fit a fully grown elephant.

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Q: Why do circles make such good friends? A: They don't. They're shapes and there cannot have friends

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What's the diffrence between a hockey puck, and an african child? They're both black, but usualy african children aren't round!

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MATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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Q: Whats worse than spilling milk? A: Cancer Q: Whats worse than cancer? A: Rebecca Black

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yo momma is so fat that she got diabetes and lost her legs

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Why can't antelopes fly? Because they can't

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why did the hater hate? everyone else has a much better life

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one. It should only take one person to demonstrate such a simple task, regardless of their hair color.

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whats the difference between the same pair of shoes? one shoe is for the left an one if for the right

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Why didn't the man laugh at his son's joke? Because he was born without a mouth.

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*Knock, Knock* Who's there? George. George who? George Ronald.

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What's the difference between a black man and a couch? One is a human being and one is a piece of furniture.

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What do people call baby cats in Alabama? Kittens.

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cancer

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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A black man walks into a convienent store, pays for his stuff and leaves

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Dave: Heyy Steve! Steve: Oh heyy Dave! Dave: The word of the day is legs! Steve: so? Dave: So lets go back to your place and spread the word? Steve: ....How about right now? ;) Both: HEY EVERYONE..WE'RE GUNNA HAVE SEX!

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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