Why doesn't Andy wanna bend over to puck something up? That's how he got assraped!

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Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

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knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

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A black guy, a mexican, and a jew walk in a bar. The mexican had to go to the bathroom. He asked the bartender where the bathroom was and she directed him down the hall where he pooped in quietly.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What did the guy at the office order on his pizza. Pepperoni :)

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Why did Hitler hate Jews? Because he use to get bulied by them when he was in high school.

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Two men are talking: Bob: "Do you like fishsticks?" Joe: "Yes I do." Bob: "Your a gay fish."

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what did the iphone say to the galagy s3? nothing they are phones.

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Aaron Pfeifer likes men

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My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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womens rights

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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why did the chicken stop in the middle of crossing the road? to get to the other side

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A horse walks into a bar. He called him Arthur. Those are two sentences.

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you: have you seen the movie constapated them:no you:its because it hasen't come out yet

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Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfectly straight line? It is impossible for humans to draw perfect lines.

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What did the homeless man say to his family? Nothing. His family left him after he lost his job.

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My friend died by getting shot in the head. But he respawned back at his checkpoint.

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Whats worse than getting in an arrow in the side of your neck Finding out there is a gas bill tied to it

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What's more dangerous, a big rock or a small one? It doesn't matter. You can blame my mom for having me.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she was born with no arms and is not loved.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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