A horse walks into a bar. He called him Arthur. Those are two sentences.

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why did the chicken stop in the middle of crossing the road? to get to the other side

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My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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Aaron Pfeifer likes men

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A black guy, a mexican, and a jew walk in a bar. The mexican had to go to the bathroom. He asked the bartender where the bathroom was and she directed him down the hall where he pooped in quietly.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What did the guy at the office order on his pizza. Pepperoni :)

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How do you trick the devil? You give him a ginger.

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Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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womens rights

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting eaten alive by midgets with down syndrome

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what did the iphone say to the galagy s3? nothing they are phones.

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Why did Hitler hate Jews? Because he use to get bulied by them when he was in high school.

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Two men are talking: Bob: "Do you like fishsticks?" Joe: "Yes I do." Bob: "Your a gay fish."

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What do you get when you cross batman and superman? One egotesticul idiot SOB aka mofo ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

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Only in your math books can Carlos buy 14 cantaloupes without hus sanity being questioned.

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What's more dangerous, a big rock or a small one? It doesn't matter. You can blame my mom for having me.

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1: Knock, knock 2: Go away!

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Whats the same about a jew and firewood? They both burn.

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Whats worse than getting in an arrow in the side of your neck Finding out there is a gas bill tied to it

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How scoops of ice cream does a n*gger get? 0.

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why did the chicken cross the road............ why dont you tell me smartass

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Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfectly straight line? It is impossible for humans to draw perfect lines.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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