Doctor! Doctor! There is a fly in my soup! Moral: Huh?

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roses are red violets are pink your nanas in the cowfeild with a bottle of stink... not really shes long gone.

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A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

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what do you call two indian men lying next to each other? i dont think there is a name for it but im sure you call them by there names.

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A man removed Stephen Hawkings hand off his keyboard, what did Stephen say to the man? Nothing his hand isnt on the keyboard.

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Whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a rabbit? A dead rabbit...

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why was the little boy crying? He had dead mice shoved up his asshole.

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Why was the chair sad? It wasn't, for chairs do not posses the proper attributes to feel emotions such as depression.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What do call a someone with no arms, legs, and has an eye patch? Names

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Seeing you happy is what makes me happy Nero, it has always been this way.

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What do you call a person without a heart? Not alive.

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Yup, I mean we use all of your techniques and all things considered the messages end up looking pretty much the same, as if the same person had written them, Azure is named Carlos, and well, he is pretty much a computer wiz so you have nothing to worry about.

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Uh... What was emulating again?

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roses are red violets are dead honey is yellow and so is head

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Then none of us want to be right.

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Why did George shaw fall off the swin?. Because he got a bowl thrown at his head

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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Dogta I don got da aids yeah? Well Sigh... Man I am so sorry, I got the positive, and the uh.. Good news... Whats the good news? I hate you! Whats the positive news? You dont have teh aids.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I blackmailed his family with rape from Ronald mcdonald

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Take a chainsaw and cut the swing in half

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Tell him he won the current game of hide n seek.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops