What do Mitt Romney and Barak Obama have in common? Nothing that is why they are running against each other for US President.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

When he was a little boy, what was Chaz Bono's favorite Cher song? Chaz Bono was never a little boy, he was a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why was the clown sad? because his wife left him

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the girl say to the guy who poked her on Facebook? You poked me.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why didn't john go to school? He has terminal cancer and he must stay at hospital

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is funnier than the funniest thing in the world? Something funnier than the world!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

if your mother was put in a situation where she could either have sex with a man or a woman she would pick the woman

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the man fail to enter the CAPTCHA phrase correctly? Because he was actually a bot, and bots are typically prohibited from accessing information on most public web sites.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

If u swipe fast u will see fish swimming -////--/// //-///--// --//--/// ---/////- -/////--/ ////---// ---///--- ---////-- --////--- //--///-// -//----/// -/-///-/// -/-/-/-/-/ -////-///// -/-/-/-/// -///------ ---------- --///-///-/ -////-//--- -/-/--/--- -/-/-////// ---------- --------- I will call ur doctor to tell him u are retarded

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's worse than winning the lottery? Anything, really...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Yo mama is so fat, she just had a heart-attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was the teenage girl pregnant? She got raped by her dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the monster under the bed say to another monster? I have the odd feeling that someone is on top of the bed.........

thumb_up thumb_down -23

My dad is lactose intolerant. He shouldn't eat cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

there was a Black and Mexican in a car who was driving? the cop

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Stop me if you heard this one before.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A white man, a black man, a Mexican man and a Chinese man were on the same bus. The didn't socialize cuz that would count as racism

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chcicken cross the road? To get to the other side nl

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q - Why did the baby spit out his dummy? A - Because i stabbed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops