What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? It's socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the most direct path to his destination.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? names.

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hello juliano and guss. having fun?

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What did one muffin say to the other? I'm baked... just kidding muffins are food and therefore can not speak

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What name does Steve Bartman go by Now? Steve Bartman, but he just hides all day trying not to be killed.

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Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

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What did the pitcher say to the batter who hit the ball very far? Wow, you hit that ball very far.

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Knock knock, who's there? Doctor. Doctor who?

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She got her arms cut off. Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing he died.

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The sentence at the bottom is true. The sentence at the top is false.

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Why did the little girl fall of the swingset. She got kidnapt and raped by a giant scorpion.

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a christian man asked god a question. he did not get an answer. a jewish man asked god a question. he did not get an answer. a muslim man asked god a question. he too, did not get an answer. an atheist man asked god a question. he got his answer.

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What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

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A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

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A black man walks out of a store. He was carrying a receipt.

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Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not the parents

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Whats green? The color green.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops