why did the drug dealer die... because he got terminal cancer and died during the first 3 weeks

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was mentally retarded and didnt know any better.

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what is white and sticky a stick from a birch tree

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The Big Bang Theory (the show).

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. It was a footless chicken.

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What is worse than ending and apple joke in the holocaust? Getting raped by a goat

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whats super and the champions of europe? Leeds United

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An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Everyone in the bar is very happy for him considering he has regained the ability to walk

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Why did the schizophrenic chicken cross the road? He had to go to the clinic, the poor dear.

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Your mum so ugly that she isn't married

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Statues: Show what great people look like, if birds shit all over them.

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why was the black mans shirt ripped? because he escaped genocide in africa

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What do you call a person without a heart? Not alive.

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How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

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"Seriosly" You got a life buddy? Are you okay? Cant you see that I am totally rocking out on my imaginary air guitar which is now inside your mind? No you are not okay! Moral: YOU ARE NOT OKAY SPREAD THE WORD! INFORM THE WORLD! YOU ARE NOT OKAY! Moral2nd: "Seriously" though dawg, you cant keep watching over me all the time, I mean you I smell the hypocrisy, but are you guys AAAALWAYS HERE? DO NOT REPLY! WE REPEAT, DO NOT REPLY!rq

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A small boy is playing on the sidewalk. Then, he is approached by a black van. The boy gets in the van, and the van drives away. Then, the man driving the van says, "So, how was your day, son?"

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Why did the whale cross the road? He was being chased by the Japanese.

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yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, 200 l.b.s

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How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

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Actual jokes are now obsolete.

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Knock knock "Who's there?" "Bark bark" "Bark Bark who?" "Bark bark bark bark bark bark."

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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