What do an octopus and a cat have in common? They are both multicellular organisms that are living creatures, and therefore are both sentient and can perform simple tasks and make simple decisions.

My name is Matt and I am homosexual. Just kidding. My names Rick.

A man was caught by the Aztecs for stealing from their tombs. The Aztecan chief said,"Sometime during the next week I will kill you, but I will do it when you least expect." The man was then given a room. He deduced that he couldn't be killed on the last day, Saturday, or else he would see it coming, so it must be before Saturday. He then deduced that it couldn't be on Friday, because he would expect it to be before Saturday. He used this logic to rule out every other day of the week, therefore the Aztecan chief would never kill him. He was killed on Wednesday.

Ever see a man say goodbye to a shoe? Yes, once.

a jewish man with a boner walks into a wall what does he hit first his cheek due to the fact he was looking at an attractive woman

What's funnier than a fat person falling nothing is

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What did the chicken say to the butcher? Moo.

Knock knock. Who's there? Honey, are you hearing things again? Nobody knocked on the door... Honey-are-you-hearing-things-again-nobody-knocked-on-the-door who? ...

A poor boy receives his first wrapped present in his entire life. Why did he hate it so much? Because it was a copy of "Mien Kampf" Is he Jewish? No, he actually does know what "Mien Kampf" is because he is poor and cannot read.

Q. Why did the black man not get on the boat A. Because he gets seasick

mommy mommy! why are we pushing the car over the cliff?! the mom answers shhh youll wake your father...

A man walks into a bar... And orders a glass of beer to cool himself off after a long day at the quarry.

What did the UPS man bring Sara? a box. whats inside it is only Sara's buisness

Why did the kid jump? He didn't.

Artichoke is a vegetable state induced by swallowing paint

Why did the car fall of the cliff? The dude driving the car was driving recklessly.

Your mother is so retarded. How retarded is she? Very retarded.

whats worse than the holocaust? i don't know, the holocaust was pretty bad.

When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

how do you punish hellen keller? you can't she's dead

What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. What's worse than a pile of dead babies? One baby is alive in the middle. What's worse than that? He is eating his way out...

What happen to the girl that received chocolate on Valentine's day? She had a allergic reaction.

Bitch! Love, J.B.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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