- Anti Joke

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

Q. How do you make your dog stop barking? A. Take it to the grocery store. Replace it with any popsicle in the fridge.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? THE CHICKEN!

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She was dead.

if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

What does it mean if your tv appears floating away in the dark? You had an awesome tv.

Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

A black man, a white man, and a group of Jews were all walking down the street. They got hit by a bus.

roses are red violets are blue i use refrigerators to keep my food cool

2 beavers enter a bar, destroy all the stool legs, and leave.

Why did sally fall off the swing? She got her arms cut off. Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Knock knock. Whose there? No one, I'm trying to tell a knock knock joke.

what did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? get down.

How to condom style ! Ayyyyyyy thts ur baby ! No! No! No! No! No! No! Broken condom style ;)

what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

Did you hear about my new Muslim friend? Hes the bomb!

Yo mamma's so fat, we are all seriously concerned for her health.

Is your refrigerator running? Yes Wtf?

Nuneaton..

Why was the bus company sued? For substandard national safety regulations

Q: What do you call men at sea? A: Sailors

Why did the black man cross the road? Black people don't exist.

How did the dyslexic, purple horse commit suicide? It jumped off the Grand Canyon.

How many police does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they all beat the room for being black.