Johnny Manziel is the best quarter ever (this isn't a joke just a true statement)

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Hey ask me if i'm a train? Are you a train? No...

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When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

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Cancer.

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigga

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Why did Oliver fall? He shot himself.

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I had a quad when I was in high school, she was pretty but it was hard to get her out of the wheelchair.

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Why did Billy start a fire? Because he was cold.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a killer

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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How do you get a person to stop talking to you? Ask nicely to please be quiet and let me talk.

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Who loves George Clooney? George Clooney

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What did the boy to it's grandad........ UR COuSIN¬

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Have you ever ate a donut? Yes I have. In fact, the donut I ate recently was fairly delicious.

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Darnell has a 2 ounce gold chain around his neck. Gold is worth $1,639 per ounce. Where did Darnell steal the gold chain from?

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How do you make a plumber cry? You steal his princess

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson is dead....

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Why was a woman not considered in the role for a stunt driver? Because her skill level was not sufficient enough for the requirements.

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who is 2 chainz? no one 2 chains is just 2 chains. spelled with an "s" not a "z"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops