Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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Why did i write this joke knowing i wont get published? I don't know.

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2 guys walk into a bar, a third guy carefully ducks under it

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Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

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What do you call a man who leaves his wife and kids to be with another woman? A dick.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

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Where do farmers retire their used farm equipment? The tree in their backyard.

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

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guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

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Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

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The NBA lockout

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What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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whats worse than 10 babies in a mail box 1 baby in 10 mail boxes

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What kind of cheese is not you cheese? Not your cheese.

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Q: What did my uncle Tom say when he first encountered my friend Richard Jefferson? A: Hello

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Viciously beating your children with other recently beaten children.

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Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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