Why did the weiner dog that punctured Doris' bladder get carried away during an oral sex session? Because the dog had a terribly troubled childhood which led to a faliure to adequately function in adulthood

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Knock knock *open*

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What do women and airplanes have in common? They both have cockpits!

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What is red and has wheels? Grass, I lied about it being red and having wheels.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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What's the longest word in the English language? Tuna. (I lied about it being the longest word in the language.)

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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What do u call a woman geometry teacher. Santains wife.

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A man is working at a bar. He feels a fly graze his left index finger, which has become a bit sweaty. The man rubs the finger for a moment, then continues to slice grapes for a customers synthetic japanese glue farm.

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whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? being wrongly accussed of a crime you didnt commit because of your race, and being put on death row

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Yo Mama!

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Roses are red Violets are blue classic

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Turkeys are obese

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alert('The Game')

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If chuck noris has five dollars and you have five dollars, he has more money than you. He forgot about the extra dollar in his back pocket

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Penis.

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? It's Jeff. Hi there Jeff, come in, the doors open.

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my goldfish never writes me back when i send him letters

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YOUR MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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what happens when steven hawking walks into a bar? everyone cheers at the miracle of science.

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why'd my house get destroyed I was afraid the tornado that hit mass was going to destroy it so I blew it up

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knock knock? who's there? a guy..... so the man open's the door and the guy clutching a knife stabs repeatedly at his chest killing him and drags his body down into his cellar locking him away from the open world. by Mad James

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what is long black and smelly the welfare line

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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