How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

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How much stuff would a stuff muff huff if a stuff muff could huff stuff? Whole dang lotsa

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make me a sandwich!

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Why did the girl drown? Well, the girl probably did drown because she was within the ages of 3-5 years old, and she probably had a physical incapapbilty and she could not swim so her parents didn't save her.

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A man rubs a magic lamp nothing happens

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Women's rights.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? - "Robin, get in the Batmobile"

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What has 4 legs and doesn't bark? A dead dog.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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Swag.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza is an inanimate object, while a black man is a person. racist F.u.c.k.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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A man walks around a bar.

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Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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It's black, and when it falls out of a tree, your refrigurator is broken. Your refrigurator.

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What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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