A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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What has 4 legs and doesn't bark? A dead dog.

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why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

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What did the FBI agent say to the CIA agent. We're both agents

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A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

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Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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i was molested.

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Your mother is so fat.... I am happy to see her join our exercise group.

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Roses are red, violets are blue That's a fact.

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

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I like my coffee like i like my woman, Without a penis.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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Yee

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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