Want to hear a joke? Me to...

thumb_up thumb_down -40

How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

thumb_up thumb_down -74

a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

thumb_up thumb_down -124

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's worse than being gay? Dying in a gas chamber in the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's white and sticky? A white stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops