Why did the boy go swimming in the ocean? He didn't. the current pulled him in and he drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down

Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

thumb_up thumb_down -6

2 guys walk into a bar, a third guy carefully ducks under it

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

thumb_up thumb_down -22

guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

thumb_up thumb_down -46

A man walks into a bar He says ouch

thumb_up thumb_down -124

What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

what did the duck say to the chicken .nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Chuck Norris was walking down the street when he was confronted by an armed, very desperate street robber. Chuck unfortunately made the decision to defend himself, and was shot in the gut before he could complete a roundhouse kick. The robber then took his wallet and ran off, undoubtedly to buy drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Knock knock Who's there? Labrinth Come in

thumb_up thumb_down +37

I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

"Welcome to Mcdonalds, Would you like to try our new Chicken BigMac today?" "No"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the blind man cross the road? To end the suffering of a lifetime illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why can't black people swim? Because most African American individuals grow up in inner urban cities where they have little or no access to swimming facilities.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yea, let's go bury it!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops