The 80's called. They need their couch back.

What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

Whats invisable and smells like a apple? An invisable apple

What did the zombie say to the woman? I like turtles.

Once upon a time there was a pure and beautiful girl who lived with her step-mother and her two step-sisters. They made her live in the basement and had her do all the chores while they went to parties. Then social workers came and relocated her to a foster family.

Roses are red, violets are black, you better watch your anus, cause jimmy is back!!

What do you think when you see an asian woman behind the wheel of a car? She's very attractive.

How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

Two guys went into a bar and started drinking. After sometime one guy said to the other, "I love your mother.I want to marry her." The other guy said,"Come on dad,you have been drinking too much."

Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

Why was the woman blind? Because she couldn't see

What's worse than a baby in a trash can The holocaust

What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

How do you say cabbage in Spanish? You don't.

What do you get when you cross a muffin with chocolate chips? A chocolate chip muffin.

What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

Sometimes I wonder; why is that frisbee getting closer? Then it hits me. Someone just threw a frisbee at me.

A blonde goes in an electronic store. She buys a TV and leaves.

Why did Susie fall out the swing, Because I hate disabled people and i pushed her

A Jew and a Muslim are playing golf. Just not together.

so you're waling through the desert and a tire falls off your canoe. How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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