A man walks into a coffee shop and buys a bookshelf.

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What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

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OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

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Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

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What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Almost everything. Infant mortality rates are incrediby high in many third world countries, and it is certainly no laughing matter.

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You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

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"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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there is a black guy and a mexican in a car whos driving? a cop

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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what do u call a lesbian with long hair? a long haired lesbian.

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What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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what happened to the 4 year old girl who got stuck in the freezer? She froze.

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i know a guy called ryan he is a benny he has a combover

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I like touching my boobs

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops