Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

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Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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Q: What's purple and flies? A: Super Grape

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What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

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What do you call it when a dead man has his wallet stolen? Rob Zombie.

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That day where Captain America becomes too weak and frail to hold his own shield.

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what do you call a cross between lasagna and a human. weird

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The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

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Why did the boy have a rash? He didn't, it was a birthmark.

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What's young and not funny? Todays anti-joke writers.

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Your dad is so hairy, that he shaves to look more cleanly.

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What do you call a black man playing golf? A golfer.

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Your dad is so gay, he lovingly marries another man and selflessly adopts you.

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Why was a black person on the run, being trailed by police officers? They were all late to work; their work places were coincidentally situated near each other.

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Why did the boy get hit by a wrecking ball? Because he picked up an upside down penny.

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the lemon was sweet.

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Why did Ant Man die? He was shot by a gangster, duh.

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Why did the baby stop laughing? Would you if you pooped your pants?

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Evicted.

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How do you blindfold an asian? With a blindfold.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's bigger.

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I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

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5 Christians, 4 Arabs, 3 Jews, and a Monkey are locked in a room with sticky bombs, hand grenades, a bible, and some bananas. What do they do? play scrabble

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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