What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

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OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

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Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

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What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

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What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

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"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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there is a black guy and a mexican in a car whos driving? a cop

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what do u call a lesbian with long hair? a long haired lesbian.

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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what happened to the 4 year old girl who got stuck in the freezer? She froze.

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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i know a guy called ryan he is a benny he has a combover

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Where did the guy who shot his neighbor go? Jail, because he was caught, sent to court, and was convicted of murder.

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What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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What do you get when you put a black guy in a blender. Why are you still reading....

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno ask the chicken

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Why do black people like kool aid? Why It is a very hydrating and delicious drink

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops