Knock Knock DAMMIT WOMAN MAKE ME A SAMMACH

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You know whats better than 24? 25

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A guy walks into a bar and says ouch.

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? She was dead

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the horse walks into the bar the bartender calls the pet control

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So I was sitting in traffic the other day... And I got run over.

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Whats brown and smells bad poo

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she was born with no arms and is not loved.

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Why did the Jewish population diminish in the '40s? Showers and Ovens

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roses are red violets are blue no seriously they are

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(warning- this is sort of funny) A mom takes her son to cvs to pick up her pills. Son- Mom whats a pharmacists? Mom- well sweetie its a person who sells people drugs Monday Morning Teacher- Class, did you learn anything over the weekend? Son- Yah, i learned that my mommy has been taking me with her every week, to a person who sells drugs Later that week Teacher- Yes, hi, um your son has told me that you take him to buy drugs with you, i may have to call social services Mom- what? this is a misunderstanding, i go to a pharmacists to buy drugs. That evening Mom-what did you tell your teacher at school Son- you've been telling me that i go with you to buy drugs Mom- baby i need pills, well, because, im sick. Son- ohhhhhhhhhhhh ok At school Teacher- Billy ive called s.s on your mom, u will be living with foster parents Son- ohhhhhhhhhhhh ok Evening Police- ?Ms. Thackery, is this your student. Teacher- Yes Police- His mom has tradgicly died in a pool of tears after finding out YOU called s.s Mom- what? omg. DAMN Police- Im afraid u r under arrest for the cause of his mothers death Class- yayyyyyyy wooo hooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Billy Billy Billy Billy. hip hip hooray Teacher- Damn Son- mommy? Police- ur mommy's dead, sucks right sooooooo here's a box and ten bucks......... go live your life

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Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

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What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

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Why are New Yorkers hated on so much? Becuase the Yankees suck ass.

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Johns mother asked him were he had been. John simply replied the shop.

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dylan hodge wishes he could suck his own **** jokes thats what his mothers for

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Your mom is so stupid she has to get homeschooled for college!

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What's the difference between ice cream and babies? I don't stick babies in my freezer...

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whats the difference between a white jew and a black jew the black jew is treated poorly and is sent to the back of the gas chamber

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Want to hear a joke? Jerry Sandusky's innocence

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Here is a nursery rhyme: Jane is a scruff, she has a head full of nits. She also had pain in her great big... Now don't get excited. Don't be mislead. Because all that Jane had was a pain in her head!

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Jhon is riding his wheelchair, but can't get up the driveway. Lucky a stranger passes by. Jhon: Can you help me please sir? Stranger: No

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? I don't know. The woodchuck won't chuck wood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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