Roses are Red. Violets are blue. I took a shit on your wife's face last night.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the first monkey? why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure.

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Why did the baby fall out of the trees? Cause it was dead.

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Why does ISIS want guns? Because they wanted to kill. Duh.

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A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

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Good afternoon.

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Why was the man in the kitchen? Because his wife was raped and killed.

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Q: Why did the guy fall off his bike? A: He got shot!

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Why was little Johnny sad? His parents were killed in an awful fire

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NO IT IS MINE! ALL MINE!

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What's the ultimtate guerilla camoflauge at night time? Black people.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your Fallopian tubes ripped out by wolverine

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How many chickens does it take for a cow to count on Tuesday? The same reason a horse got fired for seven plus one blue red green.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A: A quadriplegic.

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whats black dirty gross and sits on the porch all day? a trash bag

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what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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sir ya look like ron weasly hhahahahaha LEL

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had three balls.

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A blonde woman with her son are in walmart , as they approach the food and beverage section , they see a mexican man looking at the eggs. The man asks for help from the blonde woman about egg quality. She says ABD Eggs are the best so the mexican guy chooses that. Upon leaving the little boy points to the mexicans guys hat and shouts "ALIENS !" the mother gets really embarassed and shouts at her son for his behaviour and says it is not right. The mum gets relieved that she say that the mexican guy could not hear since he was listening to music. Upon the way out the mum spots a purplish liquid dripping out of the mexican guys hair. She asks him and he replies "Its the hair gel". The blonde and son nods and continues on their lives. - AK

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I guys look at this new game I bought, what is it, it's called penis it's supposed to be toatally hard

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YOU

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After a while, the bartender comes over to him and asks if he would like another beer. He says no and leaves.

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A Jew walks into an expensive Hotel and orders 500 dollars worth of wine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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