whats black and has 3 legs? a spider with 5 missing legs.duh.

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potatoes

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What did the giraffe say to the other giraffe. Nothing, giraffes are animals and thus cannot speak

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*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

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What do you say to a black man with AIDS? I hope you get medical help and find a cure for your illness.

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Hey! That's mine! Give it back!

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the black man kill his girlfriend? Because it was his mom!

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1 woman and 2 guys were on a roadtrip. Every single day they would go do the same things. First go to Denny's, then to the mall, then see a horror movie. One day the woman said, "I don't want to go see the horror movie, I'm scared enough!" So the guys agreed that they'd trick the woman into going to a horror movie before Denny's. They went, and the woman was scared out of her mind. She yelled at them both for 30 minutes and to this day never speaks to them.

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How did sarah break her arm? She was in a tragic car accident. An ambulance arrived and quickly rushed her to the hospital where she was cared for by medical professionals.

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What would happen if you put a marshmellow in a tractor Because 7, 8, 9

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Whats the easiest way to get a dumb blond to have sex with you? rape.

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What is the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand.

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Whats black, white and dusty? A nuns fan-y because it never gets used

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Whats long and hard and women like to suck on them? A popsicle or long lollipop

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What is green, dangorous, slow, defencive, and scared? A turtle with a uzi.

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ROSES ARE RED VILOIT ARE BLUE MY NAME IS MISIMOA AND I SMELL LIKE POO

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Why was the boy at the funeral? Because he was dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, now that i think of it, roses come in many colors And violets are actually violet in color, thus the name

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Why was the black man arrested? Tax evasion.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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Knock knock no answer, as the tenant of the house was out shopping.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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