Yee

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teacher: what comes after 69? johnny: mouthwash teacher: get out.

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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Q-- Why did the boy stop playing football? A -- He had to go for his tea

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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How many women are in the world? a little over 3.2 billion because statistics show that there are roughly 51-52% females in the whole population of humans

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What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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What's black and white and red all over. An interracial suicide pact.

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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what is brown with wheels? a potatoe, i was just kidding about the wheels

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Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

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What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

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Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

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what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

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Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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