What did little Timmy do in the Library? Read

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What do you call a purple chicken eating a bicycle? A purple chicken eating a bicycle

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So a man walks into a bar and gets a drink, then a man walks up to him and tries to start a fight, the first man says, "No thanks" and walks home.

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Yo mama so fat, her wand is a Slim Jim

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Knock, knock. Who's there? You. You who? You should be drug out into the street and shot. Whoever you are, I will find you.

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What did Robert Kardashian say at O.J.'s most recent trial? Nothing. He died of esophagal cancer

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What's wrong with Barney? He's big and purple.

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your mother is in alkatraz as she was sentenced to 25 to life due to false accusations

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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What's a Mexican's favourite sport? Cross-country running.

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knock knock whose there open the door open the door who just open the door so i can come inside

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-Whats not funny and has wheels? >What? -The Holocaust... I was lying about the wheels

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Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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A black guy pulls into a KFC drive thru and orders some chicken. The cashier tells him that they are out of chicken, so the black goes to McDonald's instead.

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go up to some one and say "i told you it would happen" with a straight face and walk away. it should cause a LOT of confusion.

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Knock Knock Who's there Me Me who ME LET ME IN

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How did the boy break his hand? He slammed it in a car door.

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What is worse than blue balls for a guy? Depending on the girl, absolutely nothing. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? His name.

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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and cross back again? Because he was a dirty double crosser

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What do humans and fish both have in common? They both live underwater, apart from humans.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left the gate open, letting all his livestock escape, and crushing his prospects of trying to keep his family fed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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