A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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A violent biker gang walks into a bar to have a few drinks, the bar tender says "I'm sorry we can not serve you here." They then proceed to beat the man violently.

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What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

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FIRE!!

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Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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The Bible

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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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A Woman out of the kitchen

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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Your mom is so...wonderful.

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

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Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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