What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

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So a Jewish man walks into a bar, You think Jesus being all knowing would have realized it was there.

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I've got a boner

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make me a sandwich!

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

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Limericks are fun, I have an orange Nothing rhymes with orange crap orange

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Women's Rights

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? "Hey, what's up?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, penis.

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what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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Q-- Why did the boy stop playing football? A -- He had to go for his tea

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Why can't black people swim? Because most African American individuals grow up in inner urban cities where they have little or no access to swimming facilities.

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what's funnier than a dead baby in a clown costume? philanthropy

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Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

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Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

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Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

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What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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