Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the mountains? A: Bear food.

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A lumberjack wearing women's underwear under his clothes walks into a bar. Several Canadian Mounties stand up and surround him, compliment him on his cooking and offer to go looking for some wild flowers for his herb collection.

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Why did the chicken croos the road? He was battling severe depression at the time. His alcoholism was tearing his family apart, he was declining in job performance and his boss threatened to fire him several times. I guess at that point he just decided to end it all. It was horribly tragic, policemen knocking on the door of his wife's chicken roost and informing her of the bad news. As soon as she heard, she rushed to the scene, only to see his mangled body spread across the street, intestines falling out. They held a closed casket funeral. Formal, all black. It was raining by the time the casket was brought to the cemetery to be buried. She hasn't stopped crying since. His children ask her, where's dad, but all she can do is weep. Suicide is bad, kids

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Guess where my mom lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my dad lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my aunt lives Utah!?!?!? NO!!!! Trick Question b... she's dead

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Knock knock whos there? Jake jake who? jake from state farm, and i'd like to tell you about our insurance company

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Q:What do you call an insecure person A:Somebody who is likely to commit suicide

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Why did Mufasa miss his doctor's appointment? Because he was trampled to death by wildebeest

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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whats big and green, andif it falls from a tree , it can kill you? a golfcourse

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knock knock..... ding dong...... knock knock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they weren't home

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A man walks into a Norfolk pub. The landlord (not being very worldly) notices he is of Middle Eastern descent and asks "are you Bin Laden"? To this the man replies "No I bin Swaffham". (Needs to be said in Norfolk accent)

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Hey do you know who is in the yard? Not the boys, they all died in a horrific fire last Christmas.

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What do you call a black woman in a pool? Drowning.

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You know what they say about fat thumbs? They give a lot of accidental comment likes on statuses.

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What did the mother say to her son? I have Leukemia.

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Q.How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A.You don't. You kill her.

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What is old and fancy and comes in two pieces? Marie Antoinette.

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You know what is totally sick? A person with stage II cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

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What does two plus two equal? 4

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i did ur mom lol. thats the joke. : )

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Obama walks into a hospital....

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I have CDO it's like OCD but in the right order

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Knock Knock Who's there? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny your son let me in mom! Son, I have something to tell you. What? Well, you're actually adopted *sobs*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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