- Anti Joke

Q. How do you make your dog stop barking? A. Take it to the grocery store. Replace it with any popsicle in the fridge.

How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself pink and throw green banana at her.

Q. What do you call a woman who, after 72 hours of hard labor, finally gives birth? A. Mom.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Max

If you are floating down main street in a canoe and your front right propeller falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones

Q: What is sad about 4 people in a Cadillac driving over a cliff? A: You could have fit more.

How did the dyslexic, purple horse commit suicide? It jumped off the Grand Canyon.

What happens when you catch a cold? You sneeze whenever you stand up.

Yo mamma's so fat, we are all seriously concerned for her health.

When I get aroused I get a solid snake

Q: What's blue, red, and circular? A: I lied about the blue, and... uh... the red and circular part too, but everything else is true. It is an ipod touch.

Why didnt little Timmy come home? He was abducted into slavery.

Q. How do you know when an asian has robbed your house?? A. Like any other thief, most of your expensive belongings will be gone it depends on duration of robbing and their morality

Why was the boy sad? Because He had a frog stapled to his face

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

watch a i d s left

What's black and really really smelly? Martin Luther King Jr.'s grave.

What did one friend say on his friend's myspace page? You need a Facebook

How many police does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they all beat the room for being black.

how do you punish helen keller? leave the plunger in the toilet.

Why did the black man cross the road? Black people don't exist.

I take the "the" out of Psychotherapist

Your mother is so fat that her BMI is larger than average.

A horse didn't walk into a bar. The door wasn't big enough

What did the little girl who lost her baby teeth want for Christmas? A pony.