Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

Guy: Hey, you want to dance with me? Girl: Who me? Guy: Nooo that bench over there...

Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and his problem is destroying his family.

Did you hear about Billy's magic trick? No? Don't worry, it was a trick question.

Why did the baby's bedroom smell so bad? The mom farted.

A priest, a pedophile, and a child rapist walks into a bar. He orders a beer.

Why did the black guy buy a bucket of KFC? Because he was hungry

How did john walk on the sun? We don't know, he probably burned to death before getting close.

why was the woman in the kitchen? she was being held hostage there by Bob Saget

- Knock Knock - Who is it ? - I'm a Jehovah witness - Sorry, I don't know anyone by the name of "a Jehovah witness". Bye.

What is a quicker way to transfer money than electronic banking? Keeping it on one's person and getting mugged for it, or else handing it over in a mutual deal.

Oooh. That fish smells delicious.

What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender!

Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

Evidently, in order to get any person of an object (most notably a swing) you must hit them with some form of large and/or sharp object.

It's not illegal, it's just frowned upon... like... masterbating on an airplane.

Colon Right Parentheses For all of the confused people out there that's :)

Why did Sally failed gym class Because she couldn't do push ups

Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Because he had just come back from fighting in the Iraq war and she was extremely happy to see that he's alright

Q.Anti-jokes are funny? A.Depends on your opinion

if i get 1,000 likes ill kill your hole family

So a guy walked into the doctors and said, "It hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor said, "Well don't poke your leg like that."

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges can't talk therefore this is not a accurate accusation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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