. . I am a whale

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i like my woman how i like my coffe... without d i c k s

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"I think your a hoe" "Don't worry, I know I am!" "You wanna F*** me?" "Hell Ya!"

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Roses are black, Violets are black Everything is black I can't see

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How many jews can you fit into an ash-tray? none because the volume of a human is much greater than an any ash-tray

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Hit me and kick me were on a log. Hit me fell off, swan to shore, and went home.

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There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

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What's good about having alzheimers? You meet new people every day!

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Dude, i know this guy, who knew this guy named Ben, who knew this guy named Valen, who knew this guy named Chad and he said.... Ben's Dead.

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Roses are red, violets are purple.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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What do you call a disease caused by an uncontrolled division of abnormal cells in a part of the body? Cancer.

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When life gives you lemons....you probably just FOUND lemons...

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roses are red violets are pink your nanas in the cowfeild with a bottle of stink... not really shes long gone.

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What's worse than accidentally flooding your bathroom? A Tsunami

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Its a long story, I got two balance nerves, I technically got four ear drums (relax you cant see it nor anything,neither can doctors without weird unpleasant stuff), I got about twice the number of synapses as regular people, and well, that makes me pretty damn good at some things, and a total retard at others.

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What's big, white, and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator

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I began as a dreamer, then I became a visionary, then I saw my dream come true, until it shattered us all. Do you believe that perhaps, there are people out there, trying to stop the world from reaching a better age?

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Why did the crocodile cross the road? It is actually highly improbable that such a large reptile would be in a residential area where such roads would exist.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It probably saw an animal that it wanted to chase, or a person carrying food, or another dog that it wanted to make friends with.

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what did the black guy say to the white guy im black

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Yo mamma is SO fat, she is classified as fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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