what do round tank toilets do? blow up CC

What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

What do you call a blonde with a Doctorate in Physics? Doctor (Dr).

How do you make a clown sad? Brutally murder his children.

Knock, Knock Who's There? An Orange No Seriously Who Are You?

One time I walked into a fat kid..

SpiderMan, under that mask and your superhero clothes who are You really? Under these clothes, I...Am.... naked

Have you heartd about the blond that confused winow putty for KY jelly? Her windows fell out.

What crawls on the ground and shoots arrows? Legless Legolas.

I've lost my electron!! Are you sure? Yes! I'm Positive!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid being killed in the slaughter house.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Holy crap, the garden's on fire.

A Mormon walks into a bar.

Why was ticklish Tom not ticklish anymore? A: he got hit by a train

Jimmy and Ted are racing each other at the end ov the street. Jimmy is taller and thinner but Ted has more endurance. Who wins the race? A: the drunk driver

How do you kill a jew? In a variety of destructive manners that are illegal and I would hope you would decide against.

Want to hear a joke? 12 year olds

An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others just don't

There are two cows standing in a field eating grass. The first cow says "moo", the second cow says "Thats funny, I was about to say that".

What did the Banana say to the human. Nothing, because bananas are not capable of talking

How did the soup lose his job? He got fired.

A panda , a cheetah, a dog, a spider, and an eagle are in Antarctica.. The eagle looks around at the other baffled animals and says " What is this????? This isn't right! I'm so confused!"

Two muffins are baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the second and says, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" The second muffin replies, "Holy crap a talking muffin!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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